Silenced by fear, shame, stigma: Inside story of GBV victims

November 15 was a black Friday for 14-year-old Temitope (not real name) who was ‘gang raped’ by her 17-year-old boyfriend, Matthew Omotayo, alongside his seven other friends in Ijebu East Local Government Area of Ogun State.

Temitope, a student of St. Anthony Grammar School, Esure, Ijebu-Mushin, was lured to a secluded room outside the school where they violently had their turns with her.

The other suspects, Mojeeb Solomon, 16 years, Lateef Adeoye age 16, Emmanuel George, 17 years, Aborisade Ayomide, 17 years, Olamilekauye, 18 years, Damilola Ismail, 19 years and Paul Chukwuchebe, 19, who are all students from the same school recorded and threatened her in the process.

While Temitope lived to tell her story, 17-year-old Habeebah Akinsanya, a student at Lisabi Grammar School in Abeokuta was raped and macheted to death on her father’s farm at Mile 6 along Ajebo road in Obafemi Owode local area of Ogun State.

Habeebah was raped and killed by 29-year old Ogunnaike Phillips, a worker employed by her father.

The suspect, who is a kidnapper, rapist and serial killer, also confessed to killing two other girls, named Abigail Dina, aged 22, and Mary Ogunyemi, aged 23 in the same pattern.

Cries, voices silenced by fear, shame, stigma

In Nigeria, home to over 100 million women and girls, each of them has a unique story, struggles, and strengths, yet, despite their peculiarity, many share a common experience: Gender-Based Violence.

From the confines of their homes to schools and the bustling streets, women and girls are subjected to harrowing acts of abuse, leaving them scarred and traumatized.

In the case of Temitope, she could not voice out immediately over the fear and thought of ‘what people would say’. Her abusers threatened to upload the recorded video of her on social media.

According to a 2023 report by UN Women and the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, nearly one in three women experience violence in their lifetime and in every 10 minutes a woman is killed internationally.

Approximately 85,000 women and girls were killed on purpose with 60 per cent and over 51,100 falling victim to intimate partners or family members.

According to a data released by the office of the Directorate in the Ogun State Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development, no fewer that 269 minors and infants, between the ages of a day old and 16 years were reportedly raped between January and December 2023.

The Ministry disclosed that 52 out of the total number of victims are between the ages of zero and eight years and some of the victims are 41-day-old babies who were raped by men in their 50s and 60s, respectively.

But a source within the ministry disclosed that 51 cases of domestic violence were reported to the ministry for the year 2024.

The increase in the menace has led to the year 2024, 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, themed, “No Excuse: UNiTE to End Violence Against Women”.

The GBV campaign observed from November 25th to December 10th serves as a reminder that everyone must all play a role in ending the cycle of violence and ensuring that every girl has the right to live free from fear and harm.

The Pervasive Impact of GBV

Gender-based violence has far-reaching consequences for young girls, leaving indelible scars on their physical, emotional, and psychological well-being.

While rape survivors often suffer from physical injuries, sexually transmitted infections, and unwanted pregnancies, the trauma of these experiences can lead to long-term mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

For 27-year-old Theresa (not real name), her dream of becoming a nurse was shattered when she was raped and impregnated at age 14, by a trusted mentor.

Theresa due to the shame and stigma from classmates and neighbors, had to drop out of school to pick up menial jobs, including house help to support herself.

Speaking with DAILY POST, she said, “I was 14 years old and in SS1 when it (rape) happened, I saw him as someone who could guide me and put me through during my studies.

“Then, I went to him to borrow textbooks since my grandma could afford to buy them for me.

“I couldn’t tell my grandma that he raped me, he threatened to kill me and I didn’t even know I was pregnant until it was 5 months.”

With tears running down her face, Theresa revealed that she regrets the occurrence and blames the birth of her 13-year-old daughter for her failure to reach her desired career and aspiration.

Survivors Are Talked Out Of Getting Justice – FIDA

According to Tomilayo Oduyebo, the Public Relations Officer of the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) in Ogun State, many survivors are emotionally or indirectly blackmailed by their families, while others are coerced into silence through compensation from the perpetrators themselves.

This alarming phenomenon highlights the complex and deeply ingrained challenges faced by survivors in seeking justice and support, she said.

“We’ve had victims of survivors come to us and mid way they will tell us that they are no longer interested or the family has intervened or the perpetrators have offered them money for compensation or the other.

“Some are emotionally or indirectly blackmailed by families, they tell them, ‘oh you want the father of your children to go to jail, what will you tell your children?’ And then the survivor will start having cold feet and the case would not make headway,” she told DAILY POST.

Recounting a recent case of domestic violence where a woman was strangled by her husband and left unconscious, Oduyebo disclosed that despite the severity of the crime, the perpetrator was granted bail and openly bragged about the victim’s inability to secure justice, underscoring the systemic failures that allow impunity to thrive.

“He choked her and she was in a coma for a while. Now the matter is in court and the man is being prosecuted but because he is connected (in quote) some people are coming to say ‘why don’t you back off since the woman didn’t die, why don’t you just leave the case after all she survived, she’s alive’. In this way, the case has been dragging on and there have been adjournments upon adjournments.

“The man has even been given bail so he has resumed work and is going about telling the woman that nothing would come out of the case” she further narrated to DAILY POST.

‘Traditional, Religious Leaders’ Culpability’

Religious leaders and traditional rulers were characterised by Oduyebo as facilitators of gender-based violence, who according to her, occasionally concealed offenders, urging victims to leave justice to God and make them believe that it was ordained by God.

She added that some of the leaders take sides with the perpetrators (men) and blame the woman for not being submissive.

Oduyebo maintained that advocacy should also be directed at traditional and religious institutions, stressing, “because you are preaching forgiveness doesn’t mean a perpetrator should not be punished.

“Yes you can forgive the perpetrators but justice has to take its course.”

The legal practitioner, consultant and partner at Blanchart Legal Practice, noted that the government was sometimes not keen on enforcing some of the laws protecting victims and survivors.

She argued that since the passing of the Violence Against Persons (Prohibition), VAPP law in Ogun State, it still lacked the necessary attention it deserved.

“When we look at the part of the government, they sometimes are not very keen on enforcing some of the laws we have in place for the protection of victims and survivors.

“Look at the VAP Law of Ogun State for example. We have in place an action plan that will help better enforcement and more effectiveness of this law, but since the passing of the VAAP law, the government is not really giving it the attention it deserves,” she lamented.

According to Oduyebo, they have pushed for the establishment of a special court to try GBV offenders in order to expedite cases and assist survivors in getting justice.

She regretted that the state government has rejected the request, saying it lacks the resources and procedures necessary to establish a new court.

“We have gone to the government, we have advocated for creation of a special court that would be for domestic violence not just the regular and magistrate court, but a special court that will be focused on prosecution of domestic and gender-based violence, as well as other forms of violence.

“But the government is telling us they don’t have the money and modalities to set up an extra court for now.

“And when these cases go to our regular court they drag and drag and some are struck out and the victims get tired in the process and this gives the perpetrators the opportunity to continue in their act since they are not punished,” she said further.

She added that a research carried out a year ago shows that 15 percent of every 1000 women in the state are abused and 2 percent or less of these women have been able to get justice.

We’re Committed In Ending All Forms of Violence – Ogun Commissioner

Meanwhile, the Commissioner for Women Affairs and Social Development, Adijat Adeleye, has reaffirmed the state’s commitment in ending all forms of violence and discrimination against women.

Adeleye stated that some steps, including establishing a Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) to provide comprehensive medical and psychological care to survivors had been taken to address the issue.

DAILY POST reports that four Sexual Assault Referral Centers located in Abeokuta, Sagamu, Ijebu-Ode, and Ilaro had been rehabilitated by the state government through the state Economic Transformation Project (OGSTEP).

While acknowledging that issues like insufficient funding, low awareness, and ineffective law enforcement still persist, the Commissioner told DAILY POST that the state through sensitization had reached unprecedented levels, sparked meaningful conversations and changed attitudes across communities.

She said, “We reaffirm our unwavering commitment in Ogun State to ending all forms of violence and discrimination against women and girls.

“Through collaboration and persistent advocacy, we have not only raised awareness but also expanded access to support systems and resources for survivors.

“The results are evident in the increased reporting of cases, improved responses, and the growing solidarity of men and women championing this cause.”

She called for continuous effort to break the silence, support survivors, while challenging harmful beliefs and practices that perpetuate violence.

Silenced by fear, shame, stigma: Inside story of GBV victims

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