I was racially attacked this week by teenagers as they laughed

I can’t quite comprehend that I have been physically assaulted in my own country (Picture: Sahala Hayes)

A fizzing, inky explosion hit the back of my head with a metallic clang. My skull felt like it had splintered.

Brown foam dripped off my new, raw-silk, embellished salwar kameez. My chuni (head scarf) was soaked, completely ruined. 

The offending item: a battered coke can. It fell at my feet and was followed by shouts of: ‘P**i go home!’ and ‘f**king r*ghead!’ 

I turned to see tall, Caucasian youths in grey joggers and dark hoodies, sniggering as they ran away. 

I was walking home, alone, earlier this week after going to a daily prayer at a Gurdwara in Derby.

It is 2024 and I am a British Citizen, I can’t quite comprehend that I have been physically assaulted in my own country – yet I am not surprised it was underpinned by racism.

These riots happening now are no more than hate crimes, committed against minority groups, and they are terrifying me. 

I am barely eating, I have cancelled plans. I feel like a prisoner in my own home.  

Reports of mosques being burnt down, of bricks being thrown through windows and attacks on places where immigrants are staying have left me feeling incredibly unsafe and unstable. 

Even before my assault, I’d been avoiding areas where there may be trouble, like city centres, but I’m now also steering clear of streets that are not that busy for fear of a repeat attack. 

The street I was on had been empty, decrepit; the ageing houses seemed to sag with time. I can’t bear to think of what would have happened had these racists escalated their violence further.

Protests planned for Wednesday August 7 (Picture: Metro Graphics)

Immediately after being hit, I staggered for a minute before clinging to a lamp post for balance, for comfort, as my temples throbbed like they had been smashed in. I felt physically sick and threw up in my mouth then started to cry, hiding my face. 

My upset and nausea have since turned to boiling fury.

I have experienced other bouts of racism before.

In 2000, while at university in Newcastle, my cousin and I were coming back from the Gurdwara in religious dress and got jeered at by some thugs who’d had too much to drink. I was panicky and petrified and wanted to run for cover.

It’s been 24 years but it feels like nothing has changed. 

I want to believe the Prime Minister that communities will be safe in the face of riots but it’s hard to believe him, however well intentioned.

So much needs to change before people can start to feel safe. 

I didn’t call the police this week because what’s the point? I’ve been racially profiled before and the police haven’t taken me seriously. 

I feared the same reception from our forces this time too. 

The PM’s solution seems to be to throw people in jail, and while that is the right thing to do – hate crimes do need to be answered for – people need to be educated. 

Multiculturalism, religion and world history needs to be taught in schools and all cultures need to be celebrated and discussed equally. That may help people see that ethnic and religious minorities are not a threat, that we are all part of the same community and together, we make up the multicultural fabric of the UK.

It’s heartbreaking to see all the destruction and hate (Picture: Sunita Thind/Sahala Hayes)

Until that happens, I am going to be more vigilant and learn some self-defence moves to protect myself. I am already having extra phone therapy sessions to cope with what’s happening around the country. 

I feel so awful that it has come to this and I am aghast at how everything has escalated so quickly. It’s heartbreaking to see all the destruction and hate – why become violent and wreck your own community?

It’s as if I don’t know this country at all despite it being my home – this is where I’ve grown up. 

We are missing tolerance, love and kindness for our fellow human beings.  

We all bleed the same.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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