‘It was easier to tell people I had cancer than that I was gay’

Having such a major challenge to focus on took him away from day-to-day worries (Picture: Keeslee Lanfear/Teenage Cancer Trust)

You wouldn’t guess now that Keeslee Lanfear was so worried about telling people his sexuality. 

Thousands of people watch his videos about living on his own for the first time, his skincare routine, travels abroad, and his recovery from cancer.

But it’s that final topic he credits with helping him feel free to live the way he wants to.  

Growing up in a small community in the Forest of Dean was difficult, as he felt he stood out and was bullied for being gay before he’d even told people. 

‘The lads and the boys just weren’t very nice,’ Keeslee told Metro.co.uk.

On one occasion, a classmate even sent a message from another boy’s phone saying ‘You need to get AIDS, you need to die’. 

Going through this meant it actually seemed easy to talk to people about cancer in comparison, because he knew he would receive ‘love and support’ with his illness. 

‘I would definitely rather have sat there and told someone about the cancer than told them I was gay,’ he said.

After being diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkin Lymphoma in 2022, he was given a bed on a ward for young people run by Teenage Cancer Trust at a hospital away from home, in Cardiff, Wales.

But instead of worrying about the side-effects of chemo beforehand, he worried others would react badly to sharing the ward with him, 

‘I grew up in a really small area, and there were no gay people around me,’ he said. ‘I had never really experienced being in a social atmosphere for that long with people from the city.

‘In my head it was like a big thing: “How are the other boys on the ward going to be with me?”

‘But once I got there it was absolutely fine.’

It was more than fine, as he found friendships as well as a sense of freedom in the hospital. ‘Nobody could judge me because they don’t know anything about me,’ he said.

As well as the other patients he talked to the nurses on night shifts, staying up into the early hours. ‘They had friends who had been through similar situations – not the cancer, but things like being gay and coming out, so it was really lovely to hear that, and I was like, “oh my God, it’s not just me”.’ 

He started to feel much more confident, as having such a major challenge to focus on took him away from day-to-day worries.

Keeslee during treatment at the University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff (Picture: Keeslee Lanfear/Teenage Cancer Trust)

He found a new signature style after losing his hair (Picture: Keeslee Lanfear/Teenage Cancer Trust) Teenage Cancer Trust)

He’s had to go through a lot but says cancer helped him accept himself and feel free (Picture: Keeslee Lanfear/Teenage Cancer Trust) Teenage Cancer Trust)

Since treatment ended he has been traveling, including to California to visit a US friend (Picture: Keeslee Lanfear/Teenage Cancer Trust) Teenage Cancer Trust)

Keeslee came out to people at school before prom in Year 11, and was surprised the reaction was actually positive there too – even from those who had given him a hard time. 

‘As soon as I came out, they were like, “Oh we have so much respect for you”,’ he said. ‘But I thought, “I wasn’t ready because of you lot!” It was almost too late because of the bullying and teasing about it before.’

After leaving school, Keeslee threw himself into work as a wedding planner, but then had a massive curveball when he started losing weight, getting back pain and itchy legs in 2022.

He went ‘back and forth’ to the doctor and was initially told it could be from a viral infection. After blood tests, his cancer was eventually picked up in May last year and he began treatment aged 21. 

As the cancer had spread, he needed to have four cycles of chemo lasting around three months. 

It had a visible effect, and he had to find a new personal style to adapt. He found a positive side of losing his hair, though, finding a new signature look by shaving his head.

‘I would never wear a bandana before, but because that was the only real option I had, I found a way to love it,’ he said. ‘I probably had 15 bandanas at one point.’  

Now in remission, Keeslee’s hair has grown back, with more of a wave – but he still appreciates the power of a good hat. 

To thank Teenage Cancer Trust for helping him through it, he raised £15,000 with the support of his family and community, including a bake sale, a walk, and a 45-mile sponsored bike ride by his dad.

While Keeslee says cancer changed his mindset and brought positive changes, it was a huge weight to carry at a young age.

At one point, he told a friend ‘I don’t think anyone will love me after this’, worried about how different he would look, and fearing ‘I’m never gonna find anyone after this because who’s going to want the cancer patient?’

His friend replied to say ‘If anything, they will love you more’ – but it took a while for him to see this himself. 

Since going into remission, he’s been travelling the world including a trip to Palm Springs and Las Vegas with a US friend, dating, and keeping people updated on his TikTok @keesleel.

When he goes back to hospital for check-ups, the nurses don’t even recognise him at first as his hair has grown back and he’s back to a healthy weight. 

Being there brings a mix of emotions, but he said that though it may be hard to understand, he even feels nostalgic sometimes because it reminds him of the love, support and acceptance he found there.

Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at webnews@metro.co.uk.

For more stories like this, check our news page.