Half of men struggle to express their feelings verbally as they fear it makes them look weak, poll finds

TURNS out the stereotypes of men struggling to verbalise their feelings might be true, with polls showing many feel nervous about looking weak.

Research of 1,000 men found 19 per cent find it easier to reveal their emotions written down than they do in person.

GettyMen find it hard to voice their feelings, but tend to feel most comfortable with partners[/caption]

Fear of embarrassment (42 per cent), feeling awkward (39 per cent) and nervousness about looking weak (30 per cent), were among the main reasons for this.

It also emerged partners are the people men feel most comfortable opening up to, but dads and colleagues are the hardest to have a meaningful chat with.

Top reasons why men find it hard to open up to their dad include ‘the fact he doesn’t express his feelings to me’ (42 per cent) and that ‘we’ve never had a deep meaningful conversation before’ (42 per cent).

The research was commissioned by Hallmark, which has teamed up with men’s suicide prevention charity ANDY’S MAN CLUB, to launch a unique collection of Father’s Day cards carefully crafted to convey messages of love, appreciation and understanding.

Andrew Dewhirst, senior writer for Hallmark, said: “As millions prepare to celebrate paternal figures across the UK, the calendar date also offers an opportunity to redefine the meaning behind the heartfelt messages we send to dads.

“Men can find it challenging to open up because society has conditioned them to believe that vulnerability is a sign of weakness, which came out as one of the top reasons in our research.

“However, embracing vulnerability is a courageous act that can lead to authentic connections and emotional well-being.

“Sometimes the simplest gesture – a card filled with love, appreciation and understanding – can become pathways for crucial conversations, especially for fathers who may find it difficult to open up.”

Other reasons men don’t want to express their feelings include being seen as a burden (26 per cent) or being made fun of (19 per cent).

Nearly one in four (23 per cent) fear they wouldn’t be able to articulate their emotions properly by speaking out loud.

And 13 per cent simply don’t want others to see them cry.

Nearly four in 10 (39 per cent) admit if they were to express their feelings to another man, it would make them feel ‘weak’.

But of those who do take that step, 28 per cent felt relieved, 25 per cent felt better overall and 17 per cent became more relaxed.

WHAT’S ON MEN’S MINDS

The number-one topic men wish they could open up about was their mental health, followed by physical health issues and feeling lonely.

While others are concerned about financial worries, physical insecurities or how to cope when someone hurts their feelings.

Three quarters of those polled via OnePoll, however, consider it important that men have spaces where they can express their feelings with no judgement.

Meanwhile, a third (34 per cent) weren’t surprised to hear suicide is the biggest cause of death in men under the age of 50.

But 58 per cent aren’t aware of any charities they can reach out to for support if they need it.

Luke Ambler, co-founder and chair from Andy’s Man Club, through which men can find a local support group, or get involved in the conversation online using #ANDYSMANCLUB, added: “For men, opening up can feel like stepping into uncharted territory, but it’s in these moments of vulnerability that true growth and connection occur.

“When men allow themselves to feel and express their emotions, they may discover a newfound sense of freedom and inner peace.

“To encourage more men to open up – however they feel comfortable – more safe spaces are needed where men can start to explore this.”

TOP 10 REASONS MEN DON’T LIKE EXPRESSING THEIR FEELINGS

1. Feeling awkward

2. Not being understood

3. Feeling like a burden

4. Being seen as weak

5. Not articulating things properly

6. Not wanting the sympathy

7. Being made fun of

8. Someone making me feel ‘weird’ for how I’m feeling

9. Not wanting someone to see me cry

10. Losing friends because of how I feel

Help for mental health

If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support.

The following are free to contact and confidential:

Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123, jo@samartiands.org.uk
CALM (the leading movement against suicide in men) www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
Papyrus (prevention of young suicide) www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
Shout (for support of all mental health) www.giveusashout.org/get-help/, text 85258 to start a conversation

Mind, www.mind.org, provide information about types of mental health problems and where to get help for them. Email info@mind.org.uk or call the infoline on 0300 123 3393 (UK landline calls are charged at local rates, and charges from mobile phones will vary).

YoungMinds run a free, confidential parents helpline on 0808 802 5544 for parents or carers worried about how a child or young person is feeling or behaving. The website has a chat option too.

Rethink Mental Illness, www.rethink.org, gives advice and information service offers practical advice on a wide range of topics such as The Mental Health Act, social care, welfare benefits, and carers rights. Use its website or call 0300 5000 927 (calls are charged at your local rate).

Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk, is the a mental health initiative spearheaded by The Royal Foundation of The Prince and Princess of Wales.

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