Marco Seitelmann was taking part in his first Boston Marathon when the explosions happened (Picture: Dan Lampariello / Reuters)
It was a sunny, cool spring day when Marco Seitelmann was about to cross the finishing line of his first ever Boston Marathon.
He’d made good time – 3 hours and 47 minutes – then two inexplicable occurrences suddenly took place.
‘Normally I cross the finishing line on the left,’ Marco, 49, tells Metro. ‘It is a habit I have; I don’t know why. But in Boston, I was running on the right.
‘Then there was the finishing line at the end of a street, maybe half a mile long. As I saw it, I started going faster and faster. I had never done that before and I wouldn’t do that now.
You don’t run fast toward the finishing line as that can kill you; it can put more strain on your heart or cause muscle problems. I don’t know why I ran on the right. Or why I ran faster in Boston.
‘Maybe there was an angel helping me,’ he adds.
After the sales and marketing director from Berlin collected his medal for the 2013 race, he was on the way to pick up his things and meet his friend Inga, when he heard an almighty explosion.
Marco thinks maybe an angel was looking out for him that day (Picture: MarathonFOTO Digital Solutions)
‘It was just grey dust going up into the air. My first thought was that it could not be an accident,’ remembers Marco. (Picture: John Tlumacki/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
‘I had never heard a sound like that before. I turned around to see a grey cloud,’ he remembers.
‘It was just grey dust going up into the air. My first thought was that it could not be an accident. I don’t know why but I felt different – like something dangerous had happened. I didn’t know what.
‘As I was thinking that, thirty seconds later the second explosion took place, around 200 meters away from the first. The national flags that lined the streets were suddenly flapping as though there was a heavy wind. I couldn’t see much else because the finishing area was absolutely packed with people.’
The explosions had taken place on the right of the finishing line; a spot Marco had avoided minutes before.
It would later emerge that brothers Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev planted two homemade pressure cooker bombs in backpacks in the crowd.
Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev had planted two homemade bombs in the crowd (Picture: Reuters)
‘It felt like what I had seen on TV after the 9/11 attacks in New York City.'(Picture: Bloomberg via Getty Images)
Marco remembers: ‘I was shocked. It was deathly quiet. No one made a noise. But I was crying as I knew something bad had happened.
All around, people were looking at their phones to work out what had happened. Eyes were staring, mouths were open. It felt like what I had seen on TV after the 9/11 attacks in New York City.
‘A few minutes later I heard the screaming of police sirens and ambulances.’
Marco managed to find Inga and hugged her tightly with relief before the police told everyone to leave the whole area.
As they headed for their hotel a block away, the phone network was shut off and the area went into lockdown.
The friends sat dumbfounded on their beds, watching the rolling news reports as they tried to make sense of what happened. Marco sat unmoving, still in his race gear, staring at the TV until the news confirmed that it was a bombing.
‘We were just crying and asking “Why?” We saw that people had been killed, including an eight-year-old boy. I couldn’t understand: Why him – not me?’
‘I had never heard a sound like that before,’ remembers Marco (Picture: Bloomberg via Getty Images)
Marco was traumatised in the aftermath of the 2013 Boston bombing (Picture: Owner supplied)
After three hours, Marco got up, took a shower and the pair went out into town to get something to eat.
‘Everything was locked or close, he explains. ‘The street was full of police, military, special agents. I felt like I was in a war. It was unlike anything I had ever known.
‘Just hours before there had been a happy atmosphere full of partying and love. Then everything was in lockdown, the lights were off, everything was shutdown. I was suddenly in a completely different world. I couldn’t believe how quickly everything changed. It was scary.’
Marco describes how people on the street were milling around with blood on their clothes, crying and trying to make sense of what had happened.
The next day, he experienced an out-of-body experience. ‘I was in the bathroom, shaving and having a shower, and it was like I was standing next to myself, watching myself. It came to me that something was wrong,’ he remembers.
Marco was experiencing depersonalisation – a sense of observing his actions, feelings or thoughts from a distance – a common response to a traumatic event. And he couldn’t stop thinking of the eight-year-old boy – Martin Richard – who had been killed.
Two explosions went off near the finish line of the 117th Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013. (Picture: David L. Ryan/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
The city of Boston went into lockdown after the terror attack (Picture: DOMINIC CHAVEZ)
He became terrified of people carrying backpacks; even crossing the road to avoid them, while panic would bubble up when he wouldn’t expect it.
One evening, when watching TV he inexplicably found that he couldn’t operate the remote when the nature documentary he’d been watching ended, and a show about the 9/11 attacks began.
‘I wanted to turn off the TV but I couldn’t. I had the control in my hands and I couldn’t turn it off. I went to the TV, stood in front of it and had this overwhelming urge to pick up the TV and throw it out of the window onto the street four storeys below.’
Marco knew a psychologist, Christina, from work, so he texted her to explain that he needed help. Soon they were working together regularly to heal his survivor’s guilt.
Two months after the bombing, Marco was shocked to find he couldn’t run anymore.
He explains: ‘I had planned to do a 5k run, but my muscles were burning. I had a bad feeling. After one block, I couldn’t move. It felt like my bones were breaking. I sat down on the street, distraught.’
Christina told him that it was psychosomatic, so he waited two months before trying again. This time Christina rode her bike alongside him, distracting him with questions, conversation and talk of happy memories. ‘I found I didn’t have any time to think about Boston’, Marco explains.
After consulting with a psychotherapist Marco decided to enroll in his first marathon since the attack (Picture: Owner supplied)
Six months later, he took the difficult decision to enrol in the Frankfurt Marathon; his first competition since Boston.
He didn’t want to let the terrorists win, but found the ordeal incredibly traumatic.
‘The race wasn’t just distressing, it was a nightmare,’ Marco admits. ‘I didn’t tell anyone I was taking part as I didn’t want the pressure. And the day before, when I went to try and pick up my bib, I had this feeling left over from Boston. A voice told me: “You can’t do it.” I just sat on the ground with my head in my hands and cried.”’
He ploughed on and the next day felt better. ‘I had a good feeling. I found myself running fast. I didn’t look at my heartbeat or my speed, I just had this feeling that I could do it. But then, at 20km, all the feelings and memories from Boston came flooding back.’
Marco stopped dead. Thoughts of all the killed, burned and maimed overtook and all he could do was walk to the finishing line in tears. ‘It was horrible. Everyone was cheering, asking if I was okay. I know they were trying to be positive, but it was too much pressure. I was in a different world’, he says.
Despite feelings of fear and dread Marco crossed the finish line (Picture: MarathonFOTO Digital Solutions)
800 metres from the finish line, Marco instructed himself to run and to finish the race on the left hand side. He felt fear and dread, but he crossed the line at a pace.
He remembers: ‘I called Christina and told her: “I did it.” She told me I was crazy and that what I had done was amazing. Driving back to Berlin I had the feeling that I was invincible. No-one could hurt me. I felt like a different person. Those two guys that did the attack; I knew they couldn’t win over me.’
Two years later Marco returned to the States and ran the Boston marathon again.
He visited the bombing sites to pay his respects to the victims, before completing the race in a faster time than he did in 2013. That same year, bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was found guilty of all 30 charges and became the youngest person to be sentenced to execution. Dzhokhar remains on Death Row today. His older brother Tamerlan had been shot dead by police days after the bombing.
After completing the 2015 Boston Marathon Marco felt a weight lift from his shoulders (Picture: Owner supplied)
‘I had to run that race; for me and for Boston,’ explains Marco.
‘The memories remain but the trauma is gone now. Boston taught me many positive things; like how amazing life is and how amazing humans are.
And for anyone else living with trauma, it is very important to talk and to know that you are not alone. You may need an hour, you may need two years. But do it your own way and you can get through it.’
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